ENGRISH!

It never gets old. My first few days are filled with lectures and seminars. I just got out of "Elementary Lessons Plans", where a native Japanese woman with excerrent Engrish skills was in charge. She...was...a...complete...spaz. Less than 5 minutes into the seminar, she instructed us with this golden rule: "we are ways use big boys wire fall in language!!". Umm.... what? " WE ARE WAYS USE BIG BOYS WIRE FALL IN LANGUAGE!! ARE SO, BIG GESTURE AND BIG SMIRE!!". I about fell off my chair snickerin.. what the hell is she trying to say? My small group eventually concluded "We always use big voice while [speaking] foreign language. Also, big gesture and big smile!"

Then, we were talking about professions. She asked someone, what would you rike to do? The girl replied, 'I would like to be a writer'. The Japanese woman paused...and then said, "Ohhh, Gasorine!". Most the kids in the class didn't get it, but the Japanese woman confused writer, with LIGHTER. As in...a lighter with gasoline (or lighter fluid...) inside it. Holy moly...I rove Engrish...