Ballroom Bike Posse!

I was invited to Okayama University Ballroom Dance Club practice by one of its members I met, and it turned out to be an amazing time.

First, the team is outstanding. Their discipline for dancing goes unmatched for any I've experienced in the U.S. All 80 of them focused and productive throughout practice, despite being around friends and comrades.

Me on the other hand, waltz right in and pretty much distract everyone from what they should be doing - practicing. 4 hours later, I helped a few kids out, learned some things myself, and got a group together to hit up the Okayama nightlife.

about 12 guys came out...all riding bicycles. I didn't have a bike, so I sat on the back wheel frame...perfect time to take a video?

Crash. Straight into the brick wall shown off to the side at 0:25. So funny, in fact, that I immediately starting recording again.

10 minutes later...the cops pulled us over, asked us if we were drunk, and told me that I couldn't ride on the backs of bikes... good times.

Not Your Average Dodgeball....

Let me just say this…no competitive 24-year-old male enjoys getting his ass beat by 11 year old girls in dodgeball….

I was asked by a small group of 5^th grade girls to play dodgeball during recess. Before I knew it, they were screaming at the top of their lungs, and playing dodgeball like their lives depended on it. It felt less like a game and more like war... I was absolutely frightened! Not to mention I was completely confused by their crazy rules…WHY DID SOMEONE JUST HIT ME IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A DODGEBALL!?!

Immediately the competitive fire roared within. How could I possibly bring myself to throw a huge, heavy rubber ball at a small little girl as hard as I could? Well…let me tell you….its possible, but in hindsight it’s probably not the best idea…

Before I knew it, I had been swept away in the game and was absolutely pelting little children with a dodgeball (because they were pelting me!). At one point I absolutely walloped a 6-year-old boy who had fallen down in the dirt right below me. All the girls started laughing…the little boy wasn’t even playing the game…. I then realized I had let my competitiveness go a bit overboard as the little kindergartener walked off the playground brushing dirt off his clothes…

In the end, the girls had a great time, but I definitely felt like the loser. These are my shoes after playing for 15 minutes…

I think the shoes are quite symbolic of my pride and self-esteem after getting bossed by a bunch of 11 year olds.

If you ever get asked to play dodgeball in Japan, be prepared…

School Sports Festivals!!

The video is a chant of "white" group. (silly video got rotated...)

Sports day festivals in Japanese are....serious. They happen once a year, and the students train for weeks in preparation. from 8am - 3pm they compete against one another in the smoldering heat. Some of the games are truly awesome.

Like good ole fashion tug of war...

Yes, that's right... 200 foot rope so that 100 kids can tug their hearts out. They spare no age...everyone participates, and the kindergarteners get stuck at the front.

A battle to the end...

One of the more entertaining games is translated as "Calvary Battle". Three students hoist a classmate on their shoulders, and play the american equivalent of "chicken". These 4-somes of students all meet in the middle of a battlefield, trying to knock the helms (or hats) of the hoisted opponents off their heads. Once a hat is removed, the opponent is out.

They conclude with a team battle. Each side having a king with a samarai helm on his head. Each team has 9 calvary (4-somes of students) whose primary goal is to strategize with one another to defeat the king of the opposing team. It was AWESOME...

It started. RED team was aggressive and charged white immediately...but ended up getting surrounded and 6 of their calvary eliminated (white still had all 9 calvary....). Obviously, white then CHARGED red completely outnumbering them. The 2 remaining red protecting the king occupied 2 white calvary (who were soon defeated) while the red King samurai stood his ground. Surrounded and maneuvering trying to fight all of the white calvary at the same, the red king managed to defeat EVERY white calvary except the king. The last 2 standing...the RED king and the WHITE king...The RED king won. The whole place went bonkers knowing that the red King alone defeated the entire WHITE team...a small bit of heroism, I must say...

(the soon defeated white king)

Surely a day of sporting celebration...

Reversible Toilet Paper?

There's not much to say about this blog post... Would wouldn't want "SWEET TOILET TISSUE" thats "REVERSIBLE!"? Wait a second...have I been wiping my butt my whole life not knowing that there's a designated wiping side? Or is this reversible mumbo jumbo a marketing ploy...? A poor one at that I must say, considering no Japanese person in the whole state of Okayama knows what "reversible" means. Pink was a good choice color though. It communicates soft, friendly, and comfortable. That's what I look for when I go TOIPER shoppin'....

In the end I couldn't resist...I had to buy some....

The iPhone 4

Everyone’s heard about it... most have an opinion on it. Unless you’ve used an Iphone 4 yourself, you have no clue how unbelievably awesome it is. Here’s my summarized version of its amazingness..

Pros: It can do everything. Everything, I say. (nearly all blog these blog photos have been taken with it).

Cons: Battery life is wack, happy endings not included.

Its saved me buying a point and shoot camera, video camera, GPS, Japanese translator, electronic dictionary, and many other things. All of its amazing functionality is interwined into one amazing device. A small example:

I was at an Indian joint eating an amazing chunk of naan. Took out my iPhone 4 camera, snapped a photo, and instantly it dropped a 'pin' on the GPS mapping the restaurant and the photo I took. No matter where you go if you take a photo or video, the phone GPS's it to a personal map so you can always remember when and where media was taken.

And thats one of the 10,000 amazing things this little device does. Thank you, Apple. I'll never have to buy another product from you again...

(here's that Naan [with spinach Saag]!)

You can click here for link to the map of the restaurant! :P

Okonomiyaki, MMmmMM

I realize the majority of my posts revolve around food...but check out this massive heap of deliciousness for $6. Okonomiyaki...Its like a huge potato / noodle / seafood / vegetable pancake with BBQ sauce, cheese, and (optional) green onions on top. No more words need be spoken...

Work Paaaartyyyy!

Coming to Japan, the word ENKAI was new to me. It means, "party". I’ve been told a million time that ENKAI’s are the bees knees, and to expect nothing less than Japanese people who work hard and play hard, period.

City Hall hosted an enkai for the small group of us who live in the Izue district. The plan was bowling and yaki-niku (self-grilled BBQ meats). Quite excited the day it arrived, I headed to the bus eager to see what my first ENKAI had to offer.

As we BOARDED the bus, everyone was handed a bag of nuts, and as many beers as they could hold... wow.

At one point I started to sing “The wheels on the bus go round and round”. Everyone was entertained, but A) They weren’t school kids willing to sing nursery rhymes, and B) They had absolutely no idea what I was singing... Oh well, I thought it was pretty perfect. Snap another photo when all else fails?

A 45 minute busride later, 26 adults stumbled off a bus absolutely assholed ready to get their bowl on. May the drunkest man win...

Being....not Japanese... I feel like my alcohol tolerance gave me quite an advantage. I got a turkey right off the bat - 3 strikes in a row... and the crowd goes wild... Knowing that I blew my load early, it was only downhill from there. I ended up bowling a 171, which convincely disposed of the competition. What’s next...All you can drink, all you can eat BBQ meat, YEA!

Food was amazing, beer was amazing, drunk Japanese people were amazing. What’s life without a good ole ENKAI, eh?

Japanese BBQ!!

The day before classes started some Japanese lady invited us to her house for a BBQ. I fully expected it to be nothing like an American BBQ. What did we see as soon as we got there?

BAM! Shaved filets, and other delicious meats and veggies on a traditional japanese firepit. It was absolutely delicious. Soon moved to grilling other fun foods, but before we knew it, something untraditional happened...

To alleviate hell-like temperatures, they took a 10 foot piece of bamboo out and made a water slide for food!

Now...im 24 years old...and I ate food out of this for an hour until I about popped. I can’t imagine how much this must be for a real kid. I did realize, that through the course of the kids playing and eating out of this bamboo slide, that several of them lost their pants. Oh, the luxeries of being a kid...

Though this was a perfect time to take out my Iphone and shoot my first video. Whadya think?

After a long day of delicious BBQ...I got rocked by the lot of Japanese kids in WII. I’m not sure how I feel about gettin beat by a 4 year old in WII tennis... and bowling....

First Day on the Job...

I was told, as I walked into the school, that I would be giving a speech in about 15 minutes for the coming back to school ceremony. I about wet myself...Its one thing talking to head-honchos and politicians, but its another thing to address 250 kids. I mean...who knows how they’d react?

I walked into a huge hardwood room, and every student was trained like a soldier... Completely silent, arms length away each other, hands by their sides, staring straigh ahead. Immediately, I realized a fart joke was’t going to fly...

The principle yelled some blabber, told everyone to bow, then walked away...and left me staring at 220 kids whos eyes said “oh my god, you are a foreigner”. Awkwardly smiling, I sceamed in Japanese,

“HELLO EVERYONE! GOOD MORNING. MY NAME IS ALEXANDER, YOU CAN CALL ME ALEX. IM FROM MICHIGAN INSIDE AMERICA. I WANT TO BE A DIPLOMAT WHEN I GROW UP. I LIKE HIKING, BALLROOM DANCE, AND SPORTS, AMONG OTHER THINGS. IM REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS YEAR. ITS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU ALL!

IMMEDIATELY after i finished my speech and bowed, the silenced was shattered by a kid in the second row VOMITING EVERYWHERE! (Allow me to include the sound effect: “BLEHAGARGHALAH”. ...)

“HOOOLY SH*T!”, I thought.... Why did you just puke kid? Am I...frightening or something? And why is everyone ignoring you? Shouldn’t a teacher like...help? And why did the kid you just PUKED ON NOT MOVE?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Conforming, I acted as if nothing (absolutely ridiculous) had just happened, and...walked away. After about a minute a teacher grabbed the kid and dragged him out...and everyone carried on (as if nothing happened.) Holy....moly.... I’m sure I’ll never really get an answer why my speech made this kid ralph a liter of milk all over his classmates and the gym floor. Sorry, sport...

After that, the day was full of ... everything you’d come to expect from being the only foreigner in a huge school of kids raised on the top of a mountain. Yes, more adventures for a later blog..

Retiring home many hours later... I got a real taste of what Bisei (Beautiful Sky) is all about. I saw perhaps one of the most vibrant sunsets of my life (taken on Iphone).

Very quickly I realized how this mountain had earned its name...

Just another day at the grocery store?

Not at all. After having a routine day, I traveled off to the grocery store at 8pm to hit up the 50% off meats that happens daily. In Japan, everything that’s close to expiring gets marked down until they practically give it away before they throw it away...a nice philosophy I’d say.

Anyways...that’s not the story. As soon as I walked into the grocery store, some kid (who I later learned was 32 years old) started staring at me. Now, that in itself isnt ALL that strange in Japan, because being the only foreigner around it happens from time to time. Quite confidently and quickly, this kid came up to me and asked me where I was from...

It began as a friendly conversation. He said he was from Hokkaido, I said hey I love hiking, and I’ve always wanted to go to Hokkaido. Flustered, he pleaded for us to be friends. Before I knew it, he was literally running around the whole supermarket looking for a pen and paper to get my contact information. At this point I thought to myself, either this kid is really enthusiastic, or hes lost his marbles.

(I’m gonna have to make this short or it could go on a while...). He literally followed me through the grocery store....staring at me the whole time...If you ever want to ruin someones food shopping experience, just follow them around, stare at them, and smile like a mad man the whole time.

Then, he invited me to his house. I have no idea why....but I accepted. When we got inside his apartment, I quickly realized the kid was completely bonkers. He asked someone who was in the bath (who I luckily never met) to introduce themself...and they never replied (obviously, right? Who does a self introduction while A) taking a bath, and B) are behind closed doors. He proceeded to shake my hand continuously, time and time again. Anyone who reads this knows I’m not an awkward person ... but... this... was... sooo... awkward.

I told him I had to go home, eat some food, and sleep. Just when I thought I was free, he insisted on walking me home. There was no way I could show this kid where I live, so I (politely) sprinted away from his as fast as possible; hoppin fences and weaving in and out of cars to the safety of my apartment . Just kidding, about half way home I said “here is far enough, thank you”. He shook my hand for another 20 seconds or so, and we parted ways.

Just when Japan starts to get boring, I meet friendly old Tokiharu-san... Thankfully, I’ve got the kids number in my wallet now (along with his age, home address, hometown in Hokkaido, alternative LAN line phone number, and the sushi restaurant that he (washes dishes) at..along with a smiley face). Anytime I start to get the blues in Japan, I’m definitely gonna hit him up for a good time....

Thanks Tokiharu-san, you definitely made my day.

More posts (with photos) comin soon!

Lost in Translation...

Well, its happened to me. In an important meeting with my supervisor, I tried to day “Im sorry I can’t meet tomorrow, I have various things to do with a few friends. What I ACTUALLY said was, “Im sorry I can’t meet tomorrow, I have erotic things to do with my friends. I confused IRORO, with EROERO...as in....erotica erotica. Loosely traslated, I essentially said I was planning to have a gangbang with my friends...

To make matters ever more comical, when I was rehearsing a speech I have to give (with the same supervisor), I was prouncing another word incorrectly. The word for “major” (in college) is the same word as “masterbation”, just emphasized differently...so... (once again loosly translated) me trying to say “I majored in Psychology for 4 years” actually came out as “I masterbated to Psychology for 4 years...

...Good god...

Summer Dancing Festival

Saturday marked the celebration of Summer in Ibara, Okayama. Most cities towns in Japan celebrate the four seasons, and Ibara jams out by dancing and fireworks. Workin for city government, I'm part of one of the designated groups that dances. But wait...we haven't learned any dances? No worries, just go out there and COPY everyone. Oh lord... The photo above is the little outfit that was given to me. Directly (and somewhat indirectly) translated, it reads: Ibara City Hall Worker for the Betterment of Society...or something like that?

Anyways, back to the dancing...it kicked off with these chika's doing some crazy traditional dancing...

Turns out the dancing wasn't all that bad after all.... There were 3 dances they did over and over...progessing the streets and city blocks around the city. Didn't take that long to learn, and thank God there wasn't much technique...as indicated by my ridiculously drunk Japanese co-workers who were shoving each other, repeatidly picking their wedgies, and making fun of each others genetial...That's the way to celebrate, right?!

Dancing went late into the night. What happened after all the dancing stopped? More a boozin'... and the first one that passed out got teabagged! Just kidding, but I was tempted do that whole 'cultural exchange' thing I signed up for...

A Taste of Japan

The last two days have been full of Enkai's (work parties). Nearly every meal has been celebrated with my co-workers...all paid for by someone other than myself. All you can drink, all you can eat, all the fun you can possible have. The food has been adventurous. Raw shrimp, a boatload of raw fish and seafood, raw horse, and certainly last but not least, a live squid... we've eaten it all.

Regrettably, I haven't taken many photos, but today I got a few shots of a lunch I went out to with some random lady. It was a nine course meal, here are some of my better photos:

Started off with this little dish - some raw fish with some delicious sauce...

Next, good ole fashion sushi. Didn't recognize most the fish, or the sauce on top, but it was truly amazing...

This was some sort of cold potato soup, with locally grown fresh peaches underneath it. Sounds distgusting, but it was actually a pleasant combination.

some cooked fish, with an edible rose.

One of the main courses, spinach, some home made dumplingish thingy, and a tasty local tomato on top.

Pear mint jello.. mmm

Meatloaf-ish thingy. with some complimentary horseradish sauce, and garlic chips off to the side.

Pasta...ish?

We had the choice of pasta or rice for the next dish. I chose pasta, seeing as I think im gonna get enough rice these next few months, anyway... Wonderful choice...and that tasty looking green leaf wasn't edible...as indicated by the chef laughing at me when I spit it out on the plate... I was slightly worried it was rude...but then I thought to myself, "I guess its not rude if you spit something out that shouldn't be eaten in the first place, right?". Right.

Desert.

Funny, how any Japanese person's idea of a good desert is mysteriously nothing but FRUIT, with maybe a little sweet sauce on top. This was pretty cool though - the chef said that all the fruits were grown in the neighborhood, and the area we live in is famous for grapes. While being a bit thick skinned for my liking, they were indeed delicious.

Good ole fashion Tiramisu.. did I say Japanese couldn't make good deserts? I was wrong...

Mmm, Oishii...

A Tour of Ibara City

Throughout the last couple of days, my supervisors have randomly taken us out of the city office for 'car rides'. They've taken us to cool spots all around the city. Super markets, shopping centers, cell phone stores, the schools we'll be teaching at, etc. Finally, they took us to the Kyuu-Dou (Archery facility). It was amazing. There were some middle schoolers from Hiroshima practicing. The bows they were shooting were nearly twice their length, and the target was about 80 yards away (and less than 24 inches diameter). Needless to say, they rarely hit the target, but they were all amazing shots. I was allowed to snap one quick photo:

I imagine i'll find myself in the Kyuu-Dou soon enough...

Off to Okayama!

Leaving Tokyo, im headed off to Ibara, Okayama. Okayama (岡山) is literally tanslated as, "hills and mountains". I was eager to see if the place I was going to live actually lived up to its name. First, however, was the airport. Pictured above was my plane ticket. Notice anything interesting? It doesn't have my name (or anyones name) on it. In fact, no one ever checked any ID, ever. Can you believe that its possible to fly dometically without any identification? I thought it was quite interesting. I also thought this sign was quite interesting...

Apparently its no thang to bring doggies on the plane, either. Regrettably, short nosed dogs are no longer allowed to fly. I wonder if too many of them wet their cages during take-off or something...

Anyways, as we descended in the plane..the entire area was nothing but rolling hills and huge mountains. Like much of Japan, the scenery was breathtaking... I had arrived at my new home. 　(photos coming soon...)

Tour of Tokyo

So its my last night in Tokyo before heading to the land I'll be living in for the next year of my life, so I decided to walk around a bit with a couple friends I made at Orientation. First, a shot from my hotel window. Who knew there were so many trees in Tokyo?

What should you expect if you ever visit this place? Lots of these...

And, lots of these...


That's right, a cigarette vending machine. 4 years ago cigs were 300 Yen out of the machine, now they are 320...still not worth the tar in your lungs!

Next, we searched for a whole in the wall restaurant, and boy did we find it. Classic Ramen shop, just what I wanted. for 7 bucks, I got a huge, huge bowl of amazing Ramen. Pork, noodles, Egg, and greens with seaweed on top. Old fashion ticket ordering was something I had forgotten, here's the ticket machine:

And the ramen we ordered from the ticket machine

I was just astounded by its deliciousness. After I finished, I asked my buddy what he thought the little floaty white things were in my broth... He said, 'I know exactly what they are, balls of FAT'.

Wow, no wonder why it was so good. To make the situation more gluttonously perfect, the guy workin came back around and offered us a second bowl on the house. We couldn't resist. The only thing missin? Something to drink...

We visited a 7-11 next door, which apparently sold liquor. Check out this bottle sittin on the shelf.

Ok, now lets analyze this... 2.7 liters (over a half gallon...) 25% alcohol (pretty darn strong), for 1280 Yen (roughly 13 bucks). No wonder why so many Japs are alcoholics. The place was full of ridiculously cheap liquor and beer. But I had my sights set on yet another somethin somethin I've been cravin for a while...

There's few things like getting to meander through the streets, waving to cops while drinkin a beer. It may be just because drinkin open bottles on the street is illegal in America, but it sure seems like a treat. We chilled on the bridge, watching the Toyko night life pass us by while enjoying good ole Japanese brewskies.

On the way back we ran into a bookstore. For those that can't read it, it says, "ROWAN bookstore" I peeped inside, it was a porno shop.

Oh Tokyo, how I'll miss you...

ENGRISH!

It never gets old. My first few days are filled with lectures and seminars. I just got out of "Elementary Lessons Plans", where a native Japanese woman with excerrent Engrish skills was in charge. She...was...a...complete...spaz. Less than 5 minutes into the seminar, she instructed us with this golden rule: "we are ways use big boys wire fall in language!!". Umm.... what? " WE ARE WAYS USE BIG BOYS WIRE FALL IN LANGUAGE!! ARE SO, BIG GESTURE AND BIG SMIRE!!". I about fell off my chair snickerin.. what the hell is she trying to say? My small group eventually concluded "We always use big voice while [speaking] foreign language. Also, big gesture and big smile!"

Then, we were talking about professions. She asked someone, what would you rike to do? The girl replied, 'I would like to be a writer'. The Japanese woman paused...and then said, "Ohhh, Gasorine!". Most the kids in the class didn't get it, but the Japanese woman confused writer, with LIGHTER. As in...a lighter with gasoline (or lighter fluid...) inside it. Holy moly...I rove Engrish...

Western Imitations...

A fun facet of Japanse culture is how they try and imitate Western culture. For the most part, they do a great job, but everywhere you see the 'flavor' they've added of their own. Sometimes it works, most the time....it doesn't. Here are a few that I experienced this morning.

Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, toast, yogurt, fruit, and OJ - Good ole American grub! But why stop there? Wouldn't breakfast be better if there were mixed vegetables, french fries, and salad? Apparently the Japanese think so. Also, they missed the memo that scrambled eggs shouldn't be canned... This photo is our day 2 breakfast, which regrettably didn't have french fries like yesterday...



Shower: Definitely one of the coolest little things I've seen. You know when you get out of the shower and your mirrors are all fogged with steam? Somehow they've made it so a section of the mirror is resistant to fogging, no matter how hot and steamy it gets in there.



Toilets in Japan are known as "squatty potties". Frequently, however, there is a Western toilet that you can sit on. But again, why stop there? Why not have a toilet that...washes your ass for you? and if you're a woman...well....yea. Of all the things Ive been adventurously trying, getting a jet of water sprayed up my butt is not one of them. If I ever get the courage, i'll be sure to post it (pending the results). Photos probably won't be attached, tho...